Gifts

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You will be given gifts when you visit local people.  Often, they will be offered by people you've never met!  

You should keep a couple of things in mind.  First and foremost, you should be gracious when you accept a gift, and you should (just as in our culture) reciprocate.

You will be amazed at how generous islanders, are.  Much of this is cultural, of course, in an environment where possessions are less important than family and friends.  You must be careful not to admire anything (from Mexico onward) because if you do, it's going to be given to you!  It's not right to casually deprive people of what little they have, so be careful.

Use discretion

Some cruisers make the mistake of handing out gifts wholesale.  This is a huge mistake, and has created a begging culture in some areas; Tonga comes to mind.  People you've never met will approach you and ask for (demand?) stuff, mostly kids wanting balloons or "lollies", but occasionally adults.  

It's annoying to be assailed by kids (who haven't a clue who you are) shouting, "Where's my lolly?" every time you come ashore.

We don't give gifts indiscriminately.  Wait until you see someone who needs what you have, or until you've made friends.  Your gifts will then mean something, and some of them will be treasured after you've left.  

Reciprocate in kind

We have found that the best thing is to attempt to reciprocate in kind so as not to put anyone in your debt.  If you're given a stalk of bananas or a fish, make banana bread or a chocolate cake to give in return.  It WILL be appreciated!

By giving in kind, you're also acting in a traditional way.  Even though no islander would ever think to criticize you for not giving anything back, they will really appreciate anything you give them.

The material poverty of many of the islands is incomprehensible to most yachties.  We found that people were embarrassingly grateful for such simple things as used containers (pop or liquor bottles, glass jars, etc.) which could be utilized for water, food, or other things. 

We tried to give things that were utiltarian (fishing gear of all kinds, scissors, sewing supplies, magazines, books, packs, suitcases, and durable cloth bags), though photos, drawings (if you're an artist), toys for kids (balloons are excellent as you can give one to each young child in a family or social situation), fabric, towels, just about anything fun or useful, are good.

Fix stuff if you can

I've repaired all kinds of stuff over the years; outboards, washing machines, weed whackers, TVs, radios, motorcycles, fishing gear, you name it.  If you can fix things that are broken it will be deeply appreciated.

Think of those who follow

We also try to give things that people can associate with us - something personal (and with cruisers, so as to make others more welcome).  Photos of yourself and your boat, videos of local festivities (terrific if you can make a VideoCD or DVD on board) will be watched hundreds of times over the years.  

It's always best to give now, than to promise to send photos, videos, or whatever, after you return to the States.  Islanders are used to disappointment, and are well aware that promises to send photos or similar things are almost always broken.

Inappropriate gifts

Worn-out clothing, caps, other stuff that's obviously junk.  How would you feel if you were given what was clearly someone else's garbage?  It's offensive, though your host would never say so.

Dirty magazines or movies, alcohol, weapons, ammunition are clearly inappropriate and illegal in all of the islands.  I am aware of yachties who have sold firearms to islanders and I find this reprehensible.  It will almost certainly result in the loss of your vessel and some very unpleasant prison time if you're caught.

I realize it's a waste of breath, but as a software developer, I also think it's unethical to give away copies of copyrighted material; movies, CDs, that sort of stuff.  It happens all over the place, but it's not right.  If you're going to hand out this stuff, you ought to buy it and hand out legal copies, not pirated ones.

Friendship

The most valuable thing you can offer is your friendship.  I mean the real thing, not just acting friendly.  Island people give themselves totally if you give them a chance, and the sadness they will show when you leave is deeply sincere.  We have been covered with friends' tears when leaving some of the places we've visited, and welcomed overwhelmingly when we've returned to places where we've made friends.  

We fully intend to write and to return one day to most of the places where we've made friends (and have done so in the past).  

November, 2005:  Vatulele, Fiji.  Beth with a handful of friends from Nabuna.  We were attending a wake for someone who recently died (any excuse for a party!), which is why everyone's dressed up.  We had a great time, great food, truly a memorable day.  This is the stuff memories are made of.

We were the only kai valagi (white guys) anywhere near here for the entire time we visited, nearly a month.

© 2005-2010 Beth and Kevin Hansen, all rights reserved 

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